“No!” I felt it with my whole soul. That’s how I felt when I heard the love of my life faced cancer.
“No!” can be a powerful word. I said it years ago when, in San Carlos, CA., I faced a gang leader who then realized by my body language, my vigorous “NO” (and some other words) that I was going to fight to defend myself. He and the guys with him moved on. No fight. (What a relief! I wasn’t going to win—but I was NOT going to lay down and die.)
How do you defend yourself from cancer in your beloved’s body?
The answer is you cannot defend yourself against that.
You find how to Say YES to something else.
Say YES to this moment.
Say YES to listening to what your loved one says. And pay attention. And ask questions and demonstrate that you are listening.
Say YES to hearing the other person out. Even as you disagree.
Now that the doctor has cut away the area (nickel-sized) on my beloved’s arm that had cancerous cells … I call this cancer-scare something else. I call it a “cancer event.”
She does not call it a cancer event.
I discovered that she found her way to peace about the possibility of her early death. I did NOT get to peace about the chance of losing her!
So, I used the phrase “cancer event” to calm down. I say event because it’s over with. [I say, “Until the data is in, it’s all good.” By this I mean, unless I learn otherwise, I will act as if the information is positive. This gives me moments that are worry-free.]
Still, I’m saying yes to what comes up. I’m looking at every walk she and I take as a Gift. Every kiss, every little smile is a Gift.
Last night, we shared onion rings, ice cream and a slice of apple pie. (I don’t recommend it. Those things might need to be separated!)
But we were both still on the planet!
I’m 10 years older than she is. Statistically, she is likely to outlive me by 16 years. (Women tend to live 6 years longer than men.)
Will that happen?
Of course, I don’t know.
“I ask people, ‘What is hope? Define hope for me.’ Typically, they can’t do it… For me, hope is synonymous with another word … and that word is possibility.” – Brett Culp
I sometimes have trouble with that word hope. When looking at people in political roles in the USA now, hope seems far off.
Still, I’m focusing on the Gifts of this Moment. I’m looking at possibility.
As a spiritual person, I also focus there.
- Listen. It’s what your loved one craves. (Other people want this, too.)
- Find the “yes” when a crisis happens.
- Find the opportunity to focus on the Gifts in each day.
Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach
Speaker-Author, 44 books so far 🙂
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 101 countries)
Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones
Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus
This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter
Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)
Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson
Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus
You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II
Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.'” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli