In a Crisis? You Have a Source of Strength


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“No!” I felt it with my whole soul. That’s how I felt when I heard the love of my life faced cancer.

“No!” can be a powerful word. I said it years ago when, in San Carlos, CA., I faced a gang leader who then realized by my body language, my vigorous “NO” (and some other words) that I was going to fight to defend myself. He and the guys with him moved on. No fight. (What a relief! I wasn’t going to win—but I was NOT going to lay down and die.)

How do you defend yourself from cancer in your beloved’s body?

The answer is you cannot defend yourself against that.

Then what?

You find how to Say YES to something else.

Say YES to this moment.

Say YES to listening to what your loved one says. And pay attention. And ask questions and demonstrate that you are listening.

Say YES to hearing the other person out. Even as you disagree.

Now that the doctor has cut away the area (nickel-sized) on my beloved’s arm that had cancerous cells … I call this cancer-scare something else. I call it a “cancer event.”

She does not call it a cancer event.

I discovered that she found her way to peace about the possibility of her early death. I did NOT get to peace about the chance of losing her!

So, I used the phrase “cancer event” to calm down. I say event because it’s over with. [I say, “Until the data is in, it’s all good.” By this I mean, unless I learn otherwise, I will act as if the information is positive. This gives me moments that are worry-free.]

Still, I’m saying yes to what comes up. I’m looking at every walk she and I take as a Gift. Every kiss, every little smile is a Gift.

Last night, we shared onion rings, ice cream and a slice of apple pie. (I don’t recommend it. Those things might need to be separated!)

But we were both still on the planet!

I’m 10 years older than she is. Statistically, she is likely to outlive me by 16 years. (Women tend to live 6 years longer than men.)

Will that happen?

Of course, I don’t know.

“I ask people, ‘What is hope? Define hope for me.’ Typically, they can’t do it… For me, hope is synonymous with another word … and that word is possibility.” – Brett Culp

I sometimes have trouble with that word hope. When looking at people in political roles in the USA now, hope seems far off.

Still, I’m focusing on the Gifts of this Moment. I’m looking at possibility.

As a spiritual person, I also focus there.

In summary:

  • Listen. It’s what your loved one craves. (Other people want this, too.)
  • Find the “yes” when a crisis happens.
  • Find the opportunity to focus on the Gifts in each day.


Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach
Speaker-Author, 44 books so far 🙂
CEO (visitors from 101 countries)

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Posted in Amazing You, body, business, business owner, CEO, entrepreneur, entrepreneurship, executive, executive coach, executive coaching, fearlessness, gratitude, happiness, happy, high trust relationships, inner peace, Inspired Action, love, money, OptiRealist, overcome feeling overwhelmed, peace, president, prosperity, reduce stress, relationship, repeat business, self-esteem, soul, spirituality, success, Tom Marcoux, Uncategorized

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