“Tell me something you know to be true, Tom,” my long-time friend Sara asked.
“You need a good combination of optimism AND realism to do well in life. That’s why I refer to myself as an OptiRealist,” I replied.
I decided to write a speech on this topic:
“Get Real or Get Hurt:
How You Can Get False Stuff Out of Your Way
Create the Abundance, Success and Happiness You Want”
I read many books each year (74 books in 2015). I’m drawn to those authors who tell the unvarnished truth. Why? So I can Save Time, Save Efforts, Save Money and . . . protect myself in certain situations.
That’s why the topic “Get Real or Get Hurt” arose in my thoughts.
About “False Stuff,” we can lose time, money and tears when we get caught up in false ideas, false methods and even false friends.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” – ascribed to Mark Twain
I know the power of optimism. Without optimism, we do not put in efforts.
For example, I know someone, Eric, who had the optimism and vision that earning a masters degree in illustration would help him in his career. It’s working. Eric is one of my team members working on my graphic novels entitled Jack AngelSword.
Still, we need strategies and realism to endure and triumph over the setbacks in life.
A novice speaker asked me if one needed academic degrees to be a professional speaker. I replied that a speaker needs Authenticity, Evidence and Experience. (I noted this as “A double E”—referring to A.E.E.)
My work is built on experience NOT theory.
In this article, I’ll share a portion of my “Get Real or Get Hurt” speech.
The structure I use is:
- A Way One Gets Hurt
- The Get Real Principle
Myth #1: If you do the right things, you can rest in the idea that your friends will stay for a lifetime.
A Way One Gets Hurt:
You’ll waste time and you’ll lose personal energy in trying to please people who really cannot support you and cannot understand you.
The Get Real Principle:
Be different—be YOU.
I learned the hard way that doing my best and doing a lot of listening to some individuals is not valued by them. One friend (who drifted away) told me at the end of a phone conversation: “That was largely useless.”
I replied, “I do not do useless things. I care about you. If you have an emergency, feel comfortable to call me. But I will not be calling you.”
This decision to separate from this friend did not arrive lightly to me. I had made efforts over more than two decades to keep being a good friend and keep listening. The truth was: this person did not value my listening. It was time to let the person drift away.
So I came up with this paragraph:
Some friendships are novels.
Some friendships are short stories.
Some friendships are a sentence.
Put a period on that and get away!
[Okay. As you notice, I’m using the word “sentence” with both meanings.]
The Get Real Principle is “Be different—be YOU.”
When you are genuine and you support your real self then you simply feel better.
You avoid twisting yourself for other people’s approval. You’ll have real friendships. You’ll be strong, and you’ll be okay if some friendships turn out to be short stories. When you step into a new chapter of life, not all of your friends will want to go with you.
Still, if you treat yourself like a cherished friend, you’ll enjoy more moments of happiness and even success.
Now it’s your turn.
Do you have any friendships that are truly unhealthy for you? What truth do you need to face? Do you need to limit your exposure to some negative people (even certain relatives)?
* * * * * *
Myth #2: You can make good money at just about anything.
A Way One Gets Hurt:
You can lose a lot of time doing projects that do not yield excellent results because the pattern is self-defeating.
The Get Real Principle:
Have a Good Business Model.
A close friend (I’ll call him “George”) died under tough circumstances. In his 60s, George struggled to barely pay his rent each month. Why? His business model was garbage. By this I mean, he was working too hard for too little return. There was no way to get ahead.
George wrote press releases. I’d ask him, “Can you go back to your previous clients and see if they have more work for you?”
“No,” George replied. He explained that he could write the best press release, but if something startling happened in the news, his press release could be ignored. George was leaving a trail of unhappy clients.
“George, you’ve been a journalist for so long.” I began. “You know how to coach someone to do well with the press, TV interviews and more. How about building up that end of your business?”
Sadly, George just “didn’t get around” to making the needed changes in his Business Model [his system for earning income and running his business.]
George struggled greatly until his last breath on earth.
I helped George—for example, transporting him to the hospital and staying with him for five hours. Still, his business model was doing him in.
On the other hand, a good business model looks like this:
- You can get repeat business.
- You’re building assets.
(For example, my team works on my franchises (the assets): Jack AngelSword, Jennalee Storm, TimePulse and Crystal Pegasus. If you’re curious, see the Crystal Pegasus graphic novel when you CLICK HERE. The TimePulse book is HERE. Franchises are often built on intellectual property.)
- You’re expanding how you serve clients.
(A mnemonic device is “REB” – related to Repeat Business, Expand, Build Assets.)
Here’s an example of “REB.” I had the idea for a particular speech title. In the same week, I set an engagement to speak on that topic at a conference. Then in 30 days, I had a book completed and up on Amazon – on that new topic.
* * * * * *
Above, I’ve shared a part of my speech “Get Real or Get Hurt.” (In a sense, this speech continues the work of my book Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good. See a Free chapter when you CLICK HERE.)
At this blog, we’re talking about YourBodySoulandProsperity.com.
I hold to the idea of having a light heart and enjoying some laughter each day.
Still, it’s valuable to face reality and strategically act for your benefit and others.
Yes, I am an OptiRealist.
As an Executive Coach, I do a lot to help my clients use the strength of optimism and the effectiveness of realism to make their dreams come true. I often function as coach, consultant and mentor. I save my clients lots of time, effort and tears. My clients then get to focus their personal energy to leap forward faster. One client said, “Tom Marcoux coached me to get more done in 10 days than other coaches in 2 years!” – Brad Carlson, CEO of MindStrong, LLC.
Find your way to balance optimism and realism for your journey.
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)