Do you want to shake off the pain of disappointment and approach life with more energy? We can use the power of “act as if.” We’ll use the A.S. process:
A – act
S – support yourself with a “30-30-30 Shield”
Actions can inspire our feelings.
It is easier to act yourself into a new way of feeling than to feel yourself into a new way of acting. – Harry Stack Sullivan
As an Executive Coach, I help clients take new and better actions.
If someone says something that offends you, consider taking a walk. Get the stress out of your body by moving.
Here’s an important action: sit up straight. Why? Allowing ourselves to slouch creates trouble. We can actually lower our mood by adopting a “defeated posture.” To shake free of that, cultivate good posture. You can breathe easier.
I learned about good posture when three physical therapists helped me recover from injuries I sustained in a car accident. They assured me that sitting with one’s vertebra aligned takes less energy. The back was designed for the bones to line up and provide a resting posture. Slouching in a chair requires some muscles to stay active and hold you up.
Discover how taking action (sitting up or moving), can improve your mood.
2. Support yourself with a “30-30-30 Shield.”
When asked how she deals with a lot of pressure (as pro athlete, Sports Illustrated model, mother and wife of celebrity surfer Laird Hamilton), Gabrielle Reese said, “In life, you will always have 30 percent of the people who love you, 30 percent who hate you and 30 percent who couldn’t care less.”
We can use the above quote as part of what I call a “30-30-30 Shield.” How?
The ideas of Gabrielle’s quote release us from trying to be perfect and from trying to please everyone.
Many of us experience a huge drop in energy and motivation when under-fire by others’ criticism.
Your first thoughts might be on the order of: “Oh, no! I can’t do anything right. Nobody’s going to like [my book, my blog, my artwork, etc.].”
Instead, invoke your 30-30-30 Shield.
You can assess: “Is this person part of the 30 percent who will never understand the value of what I’m doing? Are they someone who will never care? I can dismiss them from my mind.”
With the above, you could even “shield” your self-esteem. When someone slams criticism at us, it can feel like a blow to one’s self-esteem.
But with the 30-30-30 Shield we can assess: “This person just doesn’t care about what I care about.” or “Evidently, I made artwork that does not appeal to this person. I’ll serve my own audience.”
We can devote more time to thinking about the 30% who do love us:
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. – Lao Tzu.
In summary, you can change your feelings with two processes. Take action to release stress.
Secondly, guide your own thoughts. Don’t let them fall into a negative spiral. Instead, employ your 30-30-30 Shield and rejoice in being fully alive.
By the way, as an Executive Coach, I hear clients say, “Yes! I’m feeling so much better now that I have a plan and I’m growing in my business and personal life.”
As you employ your 30-30-30 Shield, you experiment with creativity, take appropriate risks and concentrate on those people who can relate to your style of creativity.