How to Really Nurture Yourself and Expand Your Success and Happiness

Enjoy the moment; Nurture yourself; Attract Success.

“I don’t know how to do it. How do I ever forgive myself?” my family member asked.

“That’s a big conversation. It might take many conversations. I want you to know that I believe in my heart that you did the best you could do with what you knew at the time,” I replied.

Much is made of the idea of compassion and self-compassion.

Still, many of us were trained that feeling guilty and angry at ourselves is the special way to “push ourselves to be good people.”

Years ago, I came across a phrase that has remained in my thoughts for decades.

“To love is to be happy with.” – Barry Neil Kaufman

We notice that this phrase is NOT “to love is to beat up, make feel awful, to shame, and to push around until a person feels like garbage.”

My father threw me into walls. That was not love.

I’m grateful that I had loving mentors later in life.

In the below 1.7 min. video, I mention three high school instructors who demonstrated compassion, kindness and coaching to me:

• One taught me psychology—I earned a degree in psychology.
• One taught me English literature—I wrote 27 books, screenplays—and I directed feature films.
• One taught me theology—I wrote a college level, online Comparative Religion course that I teach—for over 13 years.

So I learned compassion somewhere else than from my father.

How to Really Nurture Yourself

Here’s something helpful: Have a simple principle to get to the compassionate action.

Ask yourself this question: “How would I act toward a good friend?”

Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend.

That, in a way, is a shortcut to caring for yourself in a self-compassionate manner.

Would you help your friend by giving him or her a good meal, time for appropriate sleep, time for fun and enjoyment? Of course, you would.

If your friend made a mistake, would you assault his or her ears with nonstop berating. No!

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – The Dalai Lama

Let’s return to this phrase:

“To love is to be happy with.” – Barry Neil Kaufman

I suggest that self-compassion can help you step forward to improved success and happiness. Part of my reasoning is that practicing self-compassion gives you more positive energy. Such energy will help you attract more opportunities.

Fear brings about much negative energy. Here’s a specific example. My sweetheart has crossed the line beyond “being on the heavy side” to being severely overweight and unhealthy. I fear that she’ll cross the line and fall into diabetes (like her mother endures).

My approach is to quiet down my fear and to support her. I do this by going on a long walk with her everyday. We walk 8,000 to 10,000 steps.

Drop the habits of fear and of using guilt to push anyone. Be kind. Be supportive.

My point is: Be kind to yourself and enhance and expand your positive energy. Take that energy and apply it to serving others and expand your prosperity, too.

**********BREAKING NEWS!***************************

Tom Marcoux speaks and provides in-person processes
in North Hollywood, California
October 14, 2015. See 1.3 min. video:

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Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux