When was your last epiphany? When did something happen that got you feeling like a cool, refreshing breeze flowed over you during a scorching day?
Some time ago, I experienced an epiphany when one of my graduate students bellowed: “I’m so proud of you!” in response to another student’s speech. (This was a public speaking class.)
Wow! Her voice and words (“I’m so proud of you!”) were energizing!
“Did you all hear that?” I asked the other students.
I realized that the student’s supportive comment was not about pride.
Really, it was about joy and celebrating the magnificence inside the student who gave the speech.
It’s about celebrating your natural talent and your efforts that you placed into something.
The person who says “I’m so proud of you” is connecting your joy and her joy.
When was the last time someone supported you and said, “I’m so proud of you!”?
That long ago, huh?
And some of us may not remember hearing these words, ever.
It’s important to get connected with your source of personal energy. We’ll use the G.E.T. process:
G – get away from “non-approvers”
E – express “I’m so proud of you” to yourself
T – target real support
1. Get away from “non-approvers”
I’ve coined a term “non-approvers,” and I’m referring to a number of people who attempt to control others by withholding approval. My father continues to swing his non-approval at family members, like he’s using a bat. I do visit my parents, but I limit my time in my father’s presence. He is unable to hold a conversation; he only talks at people. My sweetheart refuses to be in the same building with my father. I understand her choice about this.
Now it’s your turn.
Who is withholding approval from you? Can you limit your time in that person’s presence?
Here’s a better idea: How can you express approval to yourself for all the good that you do?
2. Express “I’m so proud of you” to yourself
I invite you to do something each day to say “I’m so proud of you!” to yourself. I write in my Daily Journal of Victories and Blessings each night just before going to sleep. I devote 3 minutes and connect with the good parts of my life. As I write down my positive actions that I did that particular day, I am — in a way — saying, “I’m so proud of you!” to myself. I am acknowledging my own effort. My perception of my life is that it IS a good life. I go to sleep happy.
I suggest that a daily habit like writing in a Daily Journal of Victories and Blessings is a Secret Source of Energy and Happiness.
We need to consciously pay attention to what we’ve done well! In fact, researchers note that it takes 10 seconds of attention so something positive takes root in your long term memory. Negative experiences register quickly and permanently in our brain. Realize that our ancestors were the ones who paid attention to danger and got away. To overcome this natural connection with negative thinking and negative memory, put in a new habit–for example, writing in a Daily Journal of Victories and Blessings. I discuss the importance of daily habits and more in my book 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment Using Your Divine Gifts — see a Free Chapter when you CLICK HERE ]
3. Target real support
Let’s face this together: the people we love (and hope will give us some support or approval) are often too distracted, tired or even in pain to pay attention to our little victories and even our personal pain.
Pay attention and approve of yourself. Raise your own energy.
(If you focus on spirituality, you can also write in your Daily Journal: “Thank you, Higher Power.” The simple act of writing down “thank you” and help you shift into feeling gratitude. That’s important!)
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.” -Meister Eckhart
Now it’s your turn.
What can you do to truly support yourself like you would with a treasured friend. When a friend visits, you make sure that he or she has a great dinner, a comfortable place to sleep and good feelings of “home” and “welcome.”
How can you demonstrate such good care toward yourself? Do you need to put into your day some self-nurturing time? Every day, I walk with my sweetheart; our target is 10,000 steps a day. This is a good time to enjoy our conversation, the trees in the neighborhood and the glorious sky.
Each day, I make sure to see something that inspires me to laugh. Some authors call laughter “inner jogging.” That works for me.
Every top performer I have met has ways to nurture herself or himself.
Support is crucial for your big leap of success — and feeling better!
Put some energy into this, and it will pay out big time!