Unleash a Constant Flow of Healing in Your Life

Posted on July 9, 2015 by Tom Marcoux — Leave a comment
Light up your own path of healing and joy in life.

Light up your own path of healing and joy in life.

Where in your life do you need healing? In your finances? Perhaps in personal relationships? We’ll use the N.O.W. process:

N – notice
O – own
W – wonder

1. Notice

Simply take a look at your life and where you need healing. For example, for some years, three people (very close to me) truly did not value the work I do to serve other people. I noticed their disdain. And I made sure to have limited interactions with them. Two of them have drifted away. And I learned to “let go and let God.” When I have an occasional thought about a lost friend, I immediately think, “‘Joe’ may your happiness expand.” And I easily move on with my day.

I’m sharing the above story for three reasons. First, to encourage you to identify (“notice”) who drains your energy. Second, see if you can let the “drainers” drift out of your life. A third reason: condition yourself to shift your thinking — similar to the prayer I say–“Joe, may your happiness expand.” Then turn your attention to what is empowering in your life.

2. Own

You cannot solve a problem that you do not own. For example, I am careful about my sleep. I log how much sleep I get each night. Why? Sleep is one of the pillars of excellent physical and mental health.

What problem is in your life that you need to own? To own a problem is to take notes and really see what is going on. And then to make a plan and take action.

For many of us, part of owning a particular problem is to get help–perhaps, a coach, therapist, or a business consultant. Often, as an Executive Coach, I work with a client who is glad that I can bring three skill sets to our conversation: coach, business consultant and mentor. I often help the client with Dynamic Rehearsal for crucial meetings or speeches.

“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.” – Robert H. Schuller

A wonderful benefit of owning a problem, making a plan and taking action is in how it unleashes this tremendous feeling of hope. You now have hope because you’re moving forward. Even better, you feel good about yourself because you overcome fear.

“Educated Action overcomes fear.” – Dave Lakhani

Educated Action arises from how you own your problem, get training or coaching, study, reflect, set a plan and then take steps forward. Then you’ll discover surprising opportunities and even surprising sources of support. Such action and support will build your personal energy and give you resources to have a flow of constant healing in your life.

3. Wonder

Several years ago I walked through the corridors of the university from which I graduated. I glanced in an empty classroom and immediately felt the intuition: “I want to teach!” At that time, I had no idea how things would turn out. But within six months, I was teaching a workshop to 296 people at De Anza College.

When I talk of wonder about your next chapter in life or possible new opportunities, I think of this quote:

“We must be willing to relinquish the life we’ve planned in favor of the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

In early 2015, I celebrated 15 years of teaching graduate students and college students–including MBA students at Stanford University. Along the way, I realized that I would not reach all of the people I prefer to serve by limiting myself to a classroom. So I trained with mentors and used so much experience I gained during my career to become an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist. And I wrote 27 books. I’m excited about my book Yes! Secrets for Your Best Life – Law of Attraction: Plus Hidden Power Increases Your Success and Happiness (*free chapter* when you CLICK HERE )

I did not know how things would unfold. But I kept myself “in the game” and capable to flow with the next opportunity.

Wonder what your next chapter of life will be.

Welcome new opportunities.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
author of 27 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

** NEW in PAPERBACK — Tom’s Book: Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success and Fulfillment (The Power of Your Personal Brand)  [see a free chapter when you CLICK HERE]

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How You Can Go BEYOND Happiness to Total Well-Being

Posted on July 8, 2015 by Tom Marcoux — Leave a comment
Find something you enjoy!

Find something you enjoy!

Are you happy? Have you paused and thought what success is really for–to a number of people? Some say, “I’ll be happy when I’m successful.”

On the other hand, Albert Schweitzer said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

Let’s imagine that true happiness is beyond just the occasional “happy feeling.”

We can explore the implications of this comment:

“Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.” ― Immanuel Kant

When talking with clients in my role as an Executive Coach, I point out, “You can be happy even if you’re facing some problems and uncertainty.” How?

The process of happiness relates to three areas:

* Challenge vs. Boredom
* Vigorous vs. Overwhelm
* Give vs. Get

1. Challenge vs. Boredom

Many of us would agree that feeling boredom is unpleasant. If I asked some people to recount a good period of life, a number of us would say, “It wasn’t easy, but I had something to do. Looking back on it, I realize I was happy for the most part.”

So we could conclude that living a happy life has an appropriate amount of challenge. Numerous people truly enjoy video games. We notice that video games include both challenge and the chance to get better at the skills needed to win during the game.

We could use this as a metaphor. Some of us recall starting a new job with excitement and a bit of fear. However, we were learning everyday. Challenge was present.

Author Zig Ziglar wrote: “No one would go bowling if you couldn’t see the pins drop.” So I suggest that you have something in your life that provides some challenge and a way to see that you’re improving.

Maybe at this moment, you’re staying at a stable job. Perhaps, you might want to grow by taking a class or starting a hobby. Stay creative. You’ll feel happier.

2. Vigorous vs. Overwhelm

We just looked at challenge that provides some enjoyment. The opposite end is too much challenge or too much trouble that brings on the feelings of overwhelm.

I learned that I like learning and improving my skills but a schedule that gets too intense can cause great discomfort. So I’ve learned to adjust my schedule. I review my activities to see if I have any “droppables.” (As an Executive Coach, I guide clients to find their own droppables.)

For example, I once gained 4 hours by deleting 4 good TV shows from my digital video recorder. In essence, I dropped 4 good things (TV shows) in favor of the best things: exercise, more rest, more time for family and quiet time.

Research shows that a number of people get overwhelmed and make the mistake of dropping exactly those things that would keep one in balance. They work more hours and stop seeing friends. They drop an exercise routine.

I invite you to see if you can pull back from an overwhelming schedule and do that which supports your feelings of renewal. Even a mere 10 minute walk helps.

3. Give vs. Get

Here’s a fast road to misery: look on life as a struggle to merely get what you want.

Giving a speech, I once asked a crowd of 217 people: “What is marriage for?”

One woman called out: “Convenience.”

With humor I mentioned: “Marriage is for pushing buttons.” I continued, “When you want to marry someone, you’ve met the person you want to annoy for the rest of their life.”

Further in my discussion with the audience, I said, “Marriage is a place you go to give—not just get.”

My point is some of my most happy times were preparing something to be kind and generous to my sweetheart.

I sometimes call this “freedom through commitment.” By being committed to kindness toward my sweetheart, I’m free to live on a different level.

I always recall this quote:

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. . . . Life is no ‘brief candle’ for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” – George Bernard Shaw

With his comment, Shaw was supporting Immanuel Kant’s comment:

“Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.” ― Immanuel Kant

In summary, I invite you consider taking action so you have certain elements in your life:

  • something to do
  • someone to love
  • something to hope for

Then add portions of challenge, vigor, and giving.

Although you’ll get your fair share of pain and disappointment, you’ll actually find your feelings of total well-being increase.

This is the true difference between existing and living well.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux,

author of 27 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

** NEW in PAPERBACK — Tom’s Book: Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success and Fulfillment (The Power of Your Personal Brand)  [see a free chapter when you CLICK HERE]

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Move Ahead Successfully Even When You’re Criticized

Posted on July 8, 2015 by Tom Marcoux — Leave a comment
Walk your own path and discover your natural strength.

Walk your own path and discover your natural strength.

Do you want real success and fulfillment? Then, learn to handle criticism in an empowered manner. The crucial detail when facing criticism is to prepare to answer your own personal and empowering questions.

1. Does this person really want good things for me?
2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?
3. Does this comment strengthen my work?
4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

1. Does this person really want good things for me?

I have an extended family member who has nothing but criticism for me. He’s older and he’s never been an entrepreneur, author, educator or feature film director. Those are my areas of expertise. However, this person just wants to make me “wrong.” Wait a minute! This is a family member, but his goal is “to be right” and “to put the other person down.” It’s sad really.

When you consider whether criticism has merit, consider the source. If someone is in your target market, that criticism may be useful. However, if someone is merely guessing and has never entered the field you’re working in, assess whether to dismiss such criticism.

Talking to my negative extended family member would be where good ideas go to die. So I often avoid this person. I have a circle of friends and colleagues who are supportive and still provide me with the constructive feedback that may be hard to hear, but their intention is good things for me. I can trust them.

2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?

What are your real goals? Do you want to be famous? Do you want to do good artistic work? Do you want to make lots of money? Do you deeply long to express your creativity?

All of the above have different elements attached to them.

It’s important for you to be honest with yourself. What do you really want?

The truth is that I want to serve my readers, audiences, graduate students and clients. So I’m willing to hear tough feedback and learn about areas to improve for my projects. For each book I write, I have at least two editors. They can be really tough and they push me to write in better ways. That’s what I really want. I do not want to be coddled.

So even if my editors might occasionally clothe a comment with sarcasm, I still know that their comments actually strengthen me. After writing 27 books [free chapters when you CLICK HERE], I’m a better writer today.

Also, pause and get access to your own intuition. Often, some people are so quick to judge and say, “That won’t work.” How do they know? And imagine this: If your intuition is correct and you follow your heart–and you succeed–what will they say? They’ll merely shrug and mildly reply, “Oh, I guess I was wrong on that one.” Do not leave your fate to someone else. Answer your own heart’s call.

To take this conversation to the next step, here is my 7 min. video “How to Believe in Yourself When Others Don’t”:


3. Does this comment strengthen my work?

This is where the real work takes place. A tough comment like “I think that totally fails to engage your target market” may be the best reality check that you need. For example, with a video related to my science fiction franchise TimePulse, my team hit a wall. We needed a paragraph to bridge two sections of the video. I had four people tell me that the paragraph missed the mark. Okay. Back to the drawing board. Eventually, we came up with a solution. With a new approach, we found an appropriate quote to bridge the sections. [See our 1 minute video of science fiction and action, TimePulse, when you CLICK HERE]

4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

My team members know that I can calmly listen to any comment that points out flaws in a draft of a project. I’ll often ask follow-up questions. Why? I’m focused on learning and growing as an artist in the various fields I participate in: speaking, writing, filmmaking and art direction of graphic novels.

My point is that a truly creative person must develop a “thick skin” and also run criticism through a filter. Some critical comments have nothing to do with your goals. Let them flow past like leaves on a stream of water.

Other comments which are given to support you and which strengthen your work may raise your work to world-class level. It’s an adventure that is actually worth the pain and effort. It’s a road that includes surprising, happy moments.

Warmly,

Tom
Tom Marcoux,
author of 27 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
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Reduce Stress — You Know You Want to . . .

Posted on July 7, 2015 by Tom Marcoux — Leave a comment

bumpsahead

I’ll put it in a few words: our mouths cause us so much needless stress. Let’s take this further. Imagine if your personal brand included: “Good listener.” (By the way, your personal brand is your answer to this question: “What are you best known for?”)
What would result if people perceived you as a good listener? Many of them would feel comfortable around you and they’d trust you. Research demonstrates that many of the best salespeople are the best listeners. To reduce stress, we’ll use the L.E.S.S. process:
L – listen
E – ease up
S – select Criteria for Excellence
S – sidestep resistance
1. Listen
I have a relative who couldn’t listen to another person if his life depended on it. It’s tragic really. This person misses so much of what is warm and genuine in life. And imagine what his family misses, too. This guy has only one friend. He’s dropped everyone else. And they’re probably saying, “Thank you. Thank you!”
On the other hand, people who listen well often find that people like them and offer them more opportunities.
The central element of listening is restraining yourself from making reactive comments. Pause. See if you can make space for the person to experience what he or she is feeling. Even saying something as simple as “That sounds frustrating,” can give the person an opportunity to relax. If we do not give the other person space to be heard, then he or she feels a tension to prove the self right. You reduce stress by listening and thus eliminating such tension.
I’ve noticed that certain times I have felt upset as an elderly relative denied that I was under pressure. One person likes to say, “You chose that.” Sure, I’ve chosen to run businesses, but I did not resign from the human race and eliminate feeling pressure. A simple comment like: “That sounds rough. How did things go for you?” would be helpful.
2. Ease up
Some people try too hard. You can see them straining. The best actors “make it look easy.” In my book Darkest Secrets of Making A Pitch for Film and Television (free chapters on Amazon.com) , I write about one of my methods to relax before I give a pitch. I tell myself: “Let’s see if they want to play.” That’s part of my process to “ease up.”
The idea of “want to play” brings the interaction out of the emotional brain’s perception of “life or death.”
Another part of “ease up” is to relax and let the other person say what he or she needs to say first. When two people meet and talk, each one wants to express personal thoughts and feelings. When you let the other person go first, you eliminate tension. Then the person is likely to be more receptive to hearing you. This reduces stress.
3. Select Criteria for Excellence
Being a perfectionist is stressful! I know this when I try to be so compassionate and kind to everyone I meet. But sometimes I fall short because I’m distracted. There is a solution: instead of aiming for perfection, aim for excellence. What is excellence? You decide. Set up your own Criteria for Excellence. For example, I train my graduate students in my public speaking class to focus on this idea: “We do not need you to be perfect; we do need you to be genuine.” When you aim to be a real human being and express some truth (at least something that is true to you), you can take some of the pressure off. You do not need to pronounce each word perfectly. You focus on talking to the audience — and not at them.
If your mind goes blank for a moment, you can say, “I’ll need a moment. My brain needs more RAM.” And then the audience (at least in Silicon Valley) will enjoy the human moment and the humor.
4. Sidestep resistance
Resistance and conflict cause more and more stress. What if you could avoid needless resistance? How would your life improve?
Here’s the big opportunity. Add this to your personal brand: “effective storyteller.” How do you avoid a lot of needless resistance? Tell a vivid, to-the-point story.
Do not start by making some biased, blanket statement. Instead, tell a story. Give the audience (which can be one co-worker or a group in a room) an experience. Tell what you learned. It helps to end your story with something like: “So that day, I learned to pay attention to the little things because they can really trip you up — if you’re not careful.”
You can really reduce your stress, when you focus on these 4 elements:
L – listen
E – ease up
S – select Criteria for Excellence
S – sidestep resistance
Warmly,
Tom
Tom Marcoux,
author of 27 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
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Welcome to YourBodySoulandProsperity.com

Posted on July 6, 2015 by Tom Marcoux — Leave a comment

Welcome!

For you, this blog focuses on fully supporting your life as a healthy, happy and successful human being.

We bring together valuable methods and insights for your body, soul and prosperity.

To honor your time, we express the material in clear and concise ways.

Many blessings,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Speaker-Author of 27 books, visible at Amazon.com

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